Saturday, May 2, 2009
On friends, chickens and otherwise (Entry #2)...
Every girl has a girlfriend. Or in my case, 4 or 5.
I'm not talking about co-workers, associates, surface friends, "going-out" friends, "be-seen-with" friends, your significant other's friends, Facebook friends...I mean those girlfriends with whom you have a true bond, with whom you have signed a golden, silent pact, with whom your spirit and secrets are safe. They come along only a few times in a lifetime and are a cherished piece of who we are, how we grow, how we see ourselves and how we see the world.
One of these very girls of mine is about to be married to the love of her life and cannot wait to share this monumental beginning of her future with her friends. However, in the past week, a certain childhood "friend" of hers felt miffed over a trivial thing and, in classic cowardly fashion, sent a long e-mail to her, detailing her true feelings and, unfortunately, her true colors, irreversibly hurting my girl with the kind of blows that only females can deal through words. Needless to say, that friendship has ended.
This reminded me that no matter what women say about not needing other women (I myself have been guilty of this in the past), the good ones make our lives fuller, more meaningful and more complete. So, just in case you haven't yet realized or perhaps have forgotten, here is how you recognize the great ones:
They can make you laugh as easily about someone's horrible outfit as they can about your crappy day. They can whip out an inside joke at the most opportune times to embarrass you. Their nicknames for you are incredibly vulgar, which signifies how much they love you.
They defend your honor, your reputation, your reasoning and your style fiercely to anyone who dares question them. They have a dirty look ready for an ex-boyfriend, an ex-boyfriend's girlfriend, or an ex-boyfriend's girlfriend's friend. They will Facebook-stalk for you. They will lend you money, clothes, lipgloss, sale coupons, pirated music, time, space, the universe if they had it and most likely never ask for it back. They will physically fight someone for you (or at least threaten it very convincingly).
They refuse to let you take yourself too seriously. They refuse to let you put yourself down. They care as much about your family members as they do about you, even if they've never met them. They will always be there no matter how little or how much you call. They share your highs and your lows, cheering you on and wiping your tears.
They don't envy you. They tell you the truth, whether you ask for it or not (including being honest about looking fat in those jeans). They think about you when you're not around. They want you to succeed. They want you to be happy. They want you to be loved. They don't believe anyone's really good enough for you, even though they don't say it. They think you're the best, most beautiful, talented, brilliant woman ever on the planet, damn it!
See? You do have them! And if you haven't found her (or them) yet, don't worry - they'll find you. Mine did.